Take My Heart, I Don't Care
by BloodRedSnowWhite
Summary: Alex doesn't know where he stands with Bug. But he just wants to know if Bug realizes what's between them and if has an answer to his question.
1. Close To Me

ughh. hit me, I don't care. It's terrible, I know. but I was half-asleep. sorryyyy.

* * *

"Don't swear," Bug whispers in the dark. Bug never cussed in his life. He had once but he had been told it was wrong from his mother. He heard it from Leah, thinking it was okay since she said it so many times in one sentence. He thought it was probably some kind of cool word people used. But he was wrong, his mother told him so. "That's a bad word."

Alex lay still beside him, their backs pressed against each other. He had been ranting about Quint showing where he had hit him. He turned red with anger, even cussing while Bug lay quiet beside him. Alex sighed, turning to face his friend. They had made a pact when they were younger, at the age of five, to promise each other that they would always be beside each other no matter what happened. Bug turned, their faces close to the other, but it didn't bother them. They spent nights like this, ignoring the outside world. Bugs breathed stank. Alex groaned, pushing him away. "Bug, gross! What does May feed you?"

Bug cupped his mouth and ran to the washroom. He came back, sucking in his teeth. Alex had his arm over his head, covering his eyes and he looked like he was asleep. But Bug was wide awake and he didn't want to sleep yet, though the clock read close to midnight. He blew his minty-fresh breath at Alex's face. His nose twitched and he moved his arm. "Better?" He asked as he slipped under the blanket.

Alex was still wearing his jeans and his sweater and he was shivering. He had come through the window just fifteen minutes ago and the coldness on his clothes was still there. Bug wanted him to take off his clothes, he could borrow his clothes. It was snowing tonight and the snow made his bed yet. Alex's clothes were wet now, but he actually looked comfortable beside him. Alex moved in closer, his mouth close to his ear. Bug turned his head, wrapping an arm over his shoulder. Alex Dunkleman, his best friend. "You're _freezing_."

"Is it bothering you?" He didn't answer. The wetness of his clothes seemed through his but it wasn't that that made him shiver. It was the warmth of Alex's breath against his skin. He didn't want to say anything to make him get up. He didn't care as long as he was near.

Even if Alex could read his mind, he still got up. He took off his sweater but kept his jeans on, returning back to Bug.


	2. Near You

And again, I was still half asleep. -_-

* * *

May is surprised to see Alex again for the third night. But she lets them be. Bug had fallen asleep, Alex was still wide awake. He heard the door open and saw the frame of May's shoulders in the darkness. She closed the door as quietly as she could. Alex turned and faced Bug again, taking his hand in his. Subconsciously, Bug squeezed and moved in closer. He sighs. "Still awake?" He asked without opening his eyes. Alex nodded, though Bug couldn't see his reply. Bug buried his face in Alex's chest, inhaling his scent.

He doesn't care at times when they are together, but he isn't dumb and he didn't think Bug was either. He noticed the way they acted with each other when they were alone. The touching, the closeness and the way they didn't step back when they were so close they could feel each others breath. He decided to ignore it at first but he wasn't getting tired of it. He wanted to ask if Bug noticed. "What is this?"

"What's what?" Bug asked with a big yawn.

"This." Bug finally opens his eyes. Alex waves at the both of them and sighs heavily. Bug's eyes are narrowed. They were fifteen years old, nearly sixteen and Bug still acted so childish. A little slow. But that was one of the reasons Alex liked to spend time with him. He felt needed. Bug didn't understand some things and Alex was there to help him. He kind of liked being there.

They both listened to Leah coming in through her window in the next room, still staring at each other. Bug was confused at the question, wondering what he meant. "What do you mean?"

His eyes were wide, curious. Alex bit the inside of his bottom lip. "I mean, what are we?"

Bug was more confused and he propped himself on his shoulder, looking down at Alex. He admired Alex's eyes, the color of them and how they looked so empty sometimes. "Whatever we are, it's whatever we want it to be."

"That doesn't help." Alex sighs annoyed and sits up. He turns to leave but Bug stops him, taking his arm.

"You're not going, are you?" Alex falls back down, leaning against Bug. He feels helpless in a way. He was confused as well, not knowing where they exactly stood. "You can't just go back home, not while Quint is drinking."

_You have enough bruises. _He whispers to himself. He avoids the bruise on Alex's arm and pulls him closer him against him. "You make me whole."

Alex doesn't look at him when he says that, averting his eyes and turning a shade of red. Bug smiles and rests his chin on his shoulder. "I'll take care of you tonight."


	3. Between Us

The whole story is kind of sappy, ain't it? ughh. :/

* * *

This time, Alex fell asleep, sleeping quietly alone on the bed. Bug sat on his desk, abandoning his chair, looking out the window. What had he meant when he said, "What is this?" The question wondered around his thoughts, leaving him restless. He wandered around the room, quietly as possible, Alex leaving him with his thoughts. He wanted him to be awake; he wanted to ask him again. But lately, Alex barely slept, with Quint waking him up in the middle of the night. He didn't want to know what Quint does to him. But the bruises on his body made it clear. He didn't know what to do about it. He could call the cops but Alex would hate him for it. If he did, he could be taken away because Alex doesn't have any other family in town. His grandparents lived somewhere else, far from Riverton.

"What are you doing?" Alex's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Bug smiled in the dark, feeling warm inside. Alex sat up, looking at him. The light from outside his window showed his face.

"I couldn't sleep." He stayed on the desk, looking at his friend. "Go back to bed, Alex. You need it."

"I'll sleep when I'm dead." He sighs loudly, getting up and turning on the lamp. It both hurt their eyes and they had to squint to keep them open. "What are you thinking about?"

The sun was ready to come up but it was still dark. They could both see the sun just barely showing behind the trees. "Nothing of interest."

"Are you sure because lately, you've been lost in that head of yours more than usual?" He laughed even though there was nothing funny. Bug smiled and leaned against him, taking handfuls of his shirt in his hands. Alex sucked in his breath. Bug let go, hoping he hadn't hit his bruise. "Ow."

"I'm sorry." He backed away, bumping into his desk.

"It's alright, Bug." He put a hand to where his bruise was. "It's not a problem."

He looks so innocent, too caring for his own good. May raised him well. "I don't like seeing you like this."

"There's nothing you could do, really." He forces a laugh. Bug looks down at his feet, feeling useless. "Stop pouting, already. It's not a good look on you."

Bug rolls his eyes, feebly pushing him out of the way. Alex watched him disappear under the blanket, Bug turning his back to him. Alex stands there for a long moment, looking around the room and then back at Bug. He hears a tiny whisper, just loud enough for him to hear. "Come."

He smiles. "Alright, alright, I'm coming."


	4. Stand By Me

I just want to finish a story without deleting it. So however you find this, I'm cool with it. I personally think I could do better. I'm just speeding past this. -_-

* * *

The house is quiet when they wake up. Normally, the television is heard from downstairs during the weekends or Leah's music from the next room. But it's oddly quiet. A note sat on his night table, reading that May was out for the day and Leah left as well. They went downstairs and Bug grabbed a saucer from the cabinet and boiled some water. Alex stayed close behind, a habit they both have.

"Alex? Are you worried about this years Ripper day?" Bug mumbled barely audible to his friend. Alex had to stay still and lean forward to hear him. They were in the kitchen; Bug was boiling water to make hot chocolate.

It wasn't a question they would normally ask, the day they all shared their birthdays, but mainly, shared the day of the death of the psychopath, Abel Plenclov. "Why would I be bothered by someone who died sixteen years ago?" Alex said, taking a bite out of the apple he picked out of the basket.

"I meant, who Brandon will pick, we've done it ever since we could." Bug said, fiddling with the hem of his wool sweater. Every year, they would make a doll of the Ripper and since the start; Brandon would be the one who would pick to 'kill' the Ripper. Alex looked at him, titling his head to the side. He touched Bug's chin and smiled.

"Don't worry about it; he'll probably pick himself again. He's done it before to impress everyone else." Bug grinned and rolled his eyes. He poured some of the hot water into a mug, hissing when it dripped down to his fingers. "Want some?" He asked, while trying to rip open the bag of powdered hot chocolate mix. He failed and tried opening it with his teeth.

Alex sighed, shaking with head but had a tiny smile on his lips. He reached over his shoulder and took the bag from him. He cut it open with a pair of scissors and gave it back to him. Bug looked at him, blankly. Alex gave him an innocent look, raising his hands. "Just trying to give you a hand."

"Well, I almost had it." He pouted, pouring it. He stirred it until it blended with the water with a spoon.

Alex watched him, standing close behind him. Bug hardly noticed, instead only felt the warm comfort of Alex's breath. "Are you sure you don't want some?" He asked. He hissed in pain when he accidently spilled more on his finger.

Alex took his hand and without thinking, put Bug's index and middle finger in his mouth. Bug gaped open his mouth, looking at his friend. Alex didn't realize what he had done until he locked eyes with him. Bug cleared his throat, taking back his hand and rubbed the back of his neck. "So how 'bout it?" He asked again, pointing at the hot chocolate."

"Maybe later." Alex said, looking down at his feet.

Bug looked everywhere but Alex, and then realized something that made him suck in his breath. "Brandon will pick me this year." He looked away when Alex looked at him. "He hasn't picked me yet, what if he picks me this year?"

"It's not a big deal, Bug." He leaned in forward and this time, for the first time, Bug stepped back. Alex tried not to notice. "You just have to knock over the damn thing."

"Knock it over." It wasn't really a question, more like he said it to himself. He actually tried to think of Ripper Day, but he found it hard, when what happened with Alex had given him shivers. He doubted it was the kind that made him sick. "That's it."


	5. I Want You

-_- I suck.

* * *

They sat on the couch, a foot or two distances, between them. Alex played with the remote, changing the channels. There was nothing good on and instead they only entertainment was watching people getting cut off. It was a game they invented, giving each channel five seconds before changing it to another one. A man with a bald cap said something really fast and then finished off taking a huge breath, eyes wide, saying "omg" with a nasal tone. Bug snorted and Alex rolled his eyes, changing the channel. But they could not focus on the game. They couldn't ignore the tension between them.

Bug didn't know what to say but he desperately wanted to break the silence. He looked down at his mug, half empty; Alex's favourite part, where it was a lot sweeter. He considered giving it to him but he was scared, his heart beating ten times faster. But he forced himself, tapping Alex's shoulder with his finger. "Want some?"

Alex didn't even look at him, kept his eyes on the mug and took it with a small nod. 'What is this?' he pictured him saying it again in his head once more. What did he mean by that? And he gave him a stupid answer, not even understanding what he had said. But whatever 'this' was, he wanted it. He didn't care what they were, he just wanted it.

Alex completely titled his head back, drinking it all. He moaned and slumped back into the couch. He belched loudly and sighed, with a lopsided grin on his lips. Bug grinned, smugly, knowing he put the right amount. Bug had to admit it, he knew him too well. He felt stupid for not realizing it soon enough. They were right, he was slow.

Alex had a moustache and before he reached to wipe it, Bug leaned down and licked it, and brushing his tongue on his nose. They both looked at each other. Alex's eyes were big and round. Bug was barely phased of what he had done, instead looked at him calmly

Alex wiped his mouth and looked pissed. He got up and disappeared from the room. He couldn't just walk out because he had nowhere else to go and he wouldn't admit it, he didn't want to leave. He sat on the bottom of the stairs, hand knotted in his hair. Bug came in and stood in front of him. Alex looked at him, red with anger. He didn't know what to say. Shivers when done his spine when Bug put a hand on the back of his neck and he couldn't stop himself when Bug leaned down, they kissed.


	6. I'm Still Here

-_- i give up. Here's the end of the story. Hope some of you at least liked it. Maybe I'll write another one. Something better. :/

* * *

There was something so innocent and child-like in Bug. Alex was jealous, he would admit that. The way his bangs, overly grown, fell over his eyes indicated that he was any other teenager. Insecure. But he refused to cut them; he wouldn't let May trim them. Alex knew why but he was afraid to admit it. "I like your hair long," he had said just a couple weeks before. Bug had blushed and Alex was dumb enough to not think much of it.

The kiss felt useless. It felt like they were only closing their eyes. Bug imagined he would see fireworks, like in books, but he didn't see anything but darkness. Instead, he only felt closer to Alex, as if before he was so far away. Alex was gripped his shirt, taking in handfuls. Even if the kiss felt like nothing, he wouldn't trade this for the world. This was where he wanted to be. Alex suddenly pulled away, wiping his mouth. He was still red, eyes glaring. "You're an asshole Bug."

He pushed past him, heading for the door. Bug almost watched him leave but he didn't want him to go. He grabbed him by the arm. Alex pulled free and grabbed the doorknob. Bug grabbed him from the back, wrapping his arms around his waist. "Don't go." Alex never could imagine Bug sounding so helpless and he would never could again. "You're here. I'm here. Promise me you will never leave again?"

Alex didn't know what to say. Was this what he wanted? It felt like it. Something inside him left and Bug filled in the hole. He wasn't sure what this feeling was. He imagined it something like love, 'love' was a stranger to him. His mother had died before he had any memories of her and Quint never showed him anything but his fist. Bug. Bug, the person he loved. He nodded, closing his eyes. Bug smiled, holding him tighter as if he was about to disappear.

"I'm here."


End file.
